Dating Standards Under Fire: Online Community Debates Superficiality and Hypocrisy

A raw and candid post in a local online community has ignited a fierce debate about the nature of attraction and perceived double standards in the dating scene. A user, expressing deep frustration, questioned the point of dating as a woman if one isn't "born a natural 10/10," claiming that men in the local scene prioritize looks above all else.

The original poster laid out their personal struggles, stating that despite being "educated, kind, funny, have your life together," if one isn't "pretty enough, it’s like none of that even matters." They added to their frustration by mentioning personal efforts, including spending money on "treatments, surgery, skincare" to feel "good enough," while observing what they felt was unearned attention given to naturally attractive women. The user then articulated their own ideal partner: "All I want is a guy who’s tall, handsome, emotionally intelligent and put together. Someone who actually puts in effort too." They later clarified their physical requirements further, stating:

"Like, sorry if I want someone who’s at least 185 and has a decent face?"

This candid admission, particularly about the user's own physical preferences, immediately divided the online community, with many pointing out what they perceived as a glaring hypocrisy.

A significant portion of the comments directly challenged the original poster, suggesting that their own high standards for physical attractiveness mirrored the very superficiality they accused men of. One user wrote:

"You can have standards but you must be of standard too. I'm assuming you felt the guys introed to u too ugly just like how the guys you like felt likewise about u"

Another commenter bluntly stated:

"Op goes why men so superficial. Then proceeds to be the kettle calling the pot black by ownself being the same. Your satirical skills need a lot of work. Girrrl."

Some dismissed the original post entirely, viewing it as disingenuous or "bait." A user commented:

"Thought this was genuine until this part. Nice bait btw"

This camp often brought up concepts like "hypergamy," linking the original poster's desires to a perceived natural inclination for women to seek partners of higher status or desirability.

On the other hand, some users offered more empathetic or philosophical takes on the complex dynamics of attraction. While not directly supporting the original poster's specific demands, they acknowledged the general difficulties in dating. One commenter offered a more nuanced perspective on physical appearance and potential:

"You see a good guy with great personality , decent looks, that's called potential. You can scale him up with good clothes, style , haircut and he will soon become a super model.. With the right women by their side, guys will bloom and sore to greater heights, just like how we girls will glow and smile with the right Man."

Another user introduced the idea of inherent biological drives:

"it's built in the DNA. Going for the best is just part of evolution."

The discussion quickly evolved beyond individual preferences to touch on broader societal expectations. Some comments alluded to the idea that if women seek attractive men, they should also be willing to contribute financially, or consider the attractiveness-for-provider exchange. One user suggested a provocative solution:

"Tell the guy that you'll be the provider. Problem solved. Why it works? Because if guys are expected to spend money on women, some of them want something in return (i.e. making out with a beautiful woman). Otherwise, they are better off spending money on themselves."

Ultimately, the online conversation became a mirror reflecting the complexities and often unspoken tensions in modern dating. It highlighted how individuals define and prioritize "standards," and the fine line between having preferences and being perceived as superficial. The debate leaves the online community pondering whether the quest for an ideal partner often leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of disappointment, and how much personal accountability plays a role in navigating the challenging landscape of attraction.