When Loyalty Cracks: Singapore Redditors Debate if Everyone Has a Price in Relationships

A thought-provoking question recently surfaced on r/SingaporeRaw, sparking a heated debate: "Do you think everyone would cheat in a relationship given the 'right' circumstances?" The original poster, Holiday-Wolf-7939, bravely posed this controversial inquiry, probing the depths of human nature and loyalty. They wondered if prolonged emotional or physical needs going unmet, or overwhelming temptation, could push even the most steadfast individuals to stray, or if unwavering loyalty truly exists.

The community's response was immediate and varied, reflecting a wide spectrum of views on fidelity and the complexities of modern relationships. Some users leaned into the idea that everyone has a breaking point, while others held firm to the principles of commitment and respect.

User klyzon succinctly captured the cynical perspective, stating:

everyone has a price

This sentiment resonated with some, who argued that under sufficient pressure or temptation, most people would succumb. User confused_cereal noted how justifications often appear after the fact:

Yes. The bar may be higher for some people but it is there. Seen this far too many times in my life. A better person comes along, then suddenly problems with the old one surface. People today are just a lot better at coming out with justifications ex-post, e.g., my needs weren't met, icks that never existed till that new person came about etc. Everything becomes morally acceptable once the chronology changes.

User grampa55, a Top 1% Commenter, took a more cynical stance on those claiming absolute loyalty:

yes, those who says no is because the man or woman of their dreams haven't appear or flirted with them. And because of the chance of it happening is very low, they can stay loyal.

Others, however, vehemently rejected the premise that circumstances could ever justify infidelity. Future-Travel-2019 firmly stated the importance of respect and dignity:

No, shouldn't be done in any circumstance. If you have decided that its not working out and things are falling apart , the least you could do is respect your partner and the relationship and separate first before pursuing someone else. Respect your partner and the relationship. This truely speaks of your own morals and values , and atleast gives your partner a more dignified closure than having them bear the pain of finding out that their partner cheated...

Similarly, YenIsFong underscored the foundational elements of a relationship:

No, A relationship is a commitment bah. You are not supposed to cheat. Even if you found a better person, you are not supposed to even consider replacing your partner. If your heart waver, it speaks alot about your values and morals. Moreover, relationship is built upon trust and faith, your partner also trust that you won't cheat on her, and so do you placing your faith in her.

The discussion also delved into various "right circumstances" and personal dilemmas. Hellostranger1995 presented a complex scenario involving personal identity and societal constraints:

What if you love you wife but yet you’re bisexual? Need BTO and can’t divorce? Have kids and have needs? I also wouldn’t want to cheat in any circumstances, but I’ll admit that my circumstances are more “vanilla” than some of the struggles others are going through. World is grey my man…

User LordoftheWatch shared two anecdotal examples. One involved a friend who had an affair after her husband stopped being intimate post-childbirth, eventually divorcing and starting a relationship with her affair partner. The other described a friend who perpetually hooks up with various women despite having a "girlfriend," illustrating a personality type seemingly incapable of settling down.

A particularly striking personal account came from Sill_Dill, who shared his painful experience of being cheated on:

My ex wife, a Singaporean girl can cheat on me even though I worked my ass off to career for her. So I don't know what 'right' circumstances are you talking about.

When asked for the reason, Sill_Dill attributed it to a belief in "self entitlement":

Self entitlement. She believes she is entitled to 'upgrade' at any point of the marriage. And if her attempt to upgrade didn't work out, she can still come back to her spare guy which is the husband.

He later happily reported finding a better life after the divorce, marrying someone with higher education and significantly younger.

The thread also touched on the practicalities, with ooorangesss suggesting that cheating can sometimes be perceived as the "easier" option compared to the effort required to dissolve deeply intertwined lives, especially for those with shared assets or financial dependencies:

Probably, if their lives have been set up to be intermeshed together in too many aspects that require more effort to break. Cheating is an easier thing to do than to separate. Eg. Ppl with kids and shared assets, one party dependent on the other for finances and have not worked for many years so it's difficult for them to be independent.

Ultimately, the Reddit thread underscores the complex interplay of human nature, personal values, and life circumstances when it comes to fidelity. While some firmly believe in an unshakeable commitment regardless of external pressures, others acknowledge a more nuanced reality where unmet needs, temptation, or even a perceived lack of alternative escape routes can lead individuals down paths they might not have initially chosen. The debate highlights that for many, loyalty isn't just a simple yes or no, but a continuous test of character against the unpredictable backdrop of life.